


things you said I wish you hadn't

by MadSophHatter



Series: A Collection of Pride Drabbles [3]
Category: Pride (2014)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, HIV/AIDS, M/M, prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-04
Updated: 2015-05-04
Packaged: 2018-03-28 22:29:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3872107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadSophHatter/pseuds/MadSophHatter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a short drabble showing Gethin's reaction when Jonathan tells him about his disease</p>
            </blockquote>





	things you said I wish you hadn't

**Author's Note:**

> This drabble was written for a prompt that I used for the title. I got it on tumblr from murderforprofit.
> 
> The characters are based on the characters seen in the film Pride. They don't belong to me and have nothing to do with the real people going by the same names.

“I’m HIV positive, Gethin.”

The words hang in the air between them like the remnants of fireworks hang in the sky.

The look on Jonathan’s face shows exactly what he expects from Gethin – and it’s painful. Mostly because the other man is right about him. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t want to run away. Every fibre in his body wants to bolt then and there before he’s irrevocably pulled into this disaster.

The way his chest constricts as he sees the pain on Jonathan’s face, tells him that it’s already too late. He’s already in too deep. Even though they’ve only been dating for a couple of weeks, this strange man has already captivated his heart. When Jonathan first talked to him, Gethin was surprised, almost shocked to get attention from this handsome whirlwind of a person. For a moment he wonders what would have happened if he’d told him back then. Would Gethin have been able to walk away? Probably not.

Jonathan’s still looking at him expectantly. The Welshman sighs because he’s out of words. He wants to ask how much time they have left, but he thinks that might be stupid. He wants to ask how Jonathan’s feeling, but he’s sure that that’s stupid. He wants to ask what the doctors say. He wants to ask if there is hope. He wants to ask how contagious it is, if he could already have caught it. He wants to ask everything because he knows nothing.

With every second that Gethin remains quiet, Jonathan gets more tense.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t plan to fall in love”, he says, looking down.

Gethin shakes his head. It would be easy to blame the other man, and part of him wants to. How could he know this and still go out flirting with people like that? It was irresponsible! The Welshman smothers that part of himself before it can question any further. It’s not helping. And he’ll be damned if he heaps blame on the shoulders of the man standing in front of him, looking so utterly defeated that it breaks Gethin’s heart.

Just standing there weighed down by the heavy silence becomes too much of an effort. Gethin takes a few steps and lets himself sink onto Jonathan’s old leather sofa. As his body comes to rest, a fear that feels like it will never quite leave him takes root in the back of his mind and the centre of his chest. The fear of losing Jonathan.

“Will you come here and let me hold you?” Gethin’s voice is shaky.

Jonathan looks up at him, surprise apparent in his dark eyes. But after a second he complies and sits down next to the Welshman. As Gethin closes his arms around him, all the tension leaves Jonathan’s body and he melts into the embrace. His warmth and weight pressed against him give Gethin something to hold onto. It’s solid proof that even though this man might be gone very soon, he’s still here with him right now. Gethin clutches this grounding thought like a lifeline.

“What are we going to do?”, Jonathan asks, his voice still hoarsened by fear and despair.

“I’ll hold on to you for a bit longer if that’s okay. And then I’ll make us tea because we need to talk. I’m pretty ignorant about this topic and I want to know what we’re dealing with.” Gethin tries to sound as calm and rational as possible. That’s the only way to deal with this if he doesn’t want to unravel completely.

“You’re not leaving?” The disbelief in that question makes Gethin’s heart clench.

He pulls Jonathan a bit closer before he shakes his head. “Not unless you want me to.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked my drabble or have any constructive criticism, please let me know. I'm always happy about kudos and comments. Thanks.
> 
> If you want any more Pride headcanons or drabbles, have a look on my tumblr. There I'm called lilbasthet.


End file.
